There are little reminders all around us to help us remember that our Bean is on her own path, taking the long way to get there, the scenic route. Today, I went to put her in one of those standing activity gyms, as I was thinking, 'okay, she's over four months' (the age requirement on the box), and I really want to get her working on her balance, since we know she will have balance issues. I put it on the shortest notch and still, our lil' Bean's feet are no where near the floor. She's not yet big enough for that play-gym. She's also not yet strong enough to hold herself up. She's almost five months old, but because of all the things she's been through, it will take her longer to get there. Honestly, this reminder depresses the hell out of me. It's a glaring siren that not all is okay just yet, and we still have a long hard road ahead of us. Next week we have a bunch of specialists coming to meet the Bean, to evaluate what services or therapies she will require, so we can get moving forward with making that happen. I spoke with a hearing specialist today and we touched base about getting the whole hearing aid process started. If it wasn't such a task, I'd throw the Bean in the truck and take our paperwork down to the post-office. It's just easier to wait until her Dad gets home and then run the mail over to the post-office while he watches her. Almost sounds lazy of me, but, for anyone who has had to haul a carseat and a diaper bag for a trip a mere mile away... it ain't really worth all that. Throw in a good ol' O2 tank too... uh, no thanks... I'll wait. We were out and about most of yesterday and the Bean did not sleep much yesterday. Today, she's been sleeping most of the day. I'm sure I will be so thankful of that at 3 a.m., when she decides it's time to get up and get going on her mirror gazing and "pacie" obsession.
Tonight I really need to bring myself to get started organizing her medical binder. The hospital or the March Of Dimes, provided us with a binder that we just 'fill-in' the information so that at a moments notice, anyone, any Dr. can pick up the binder and read about the Bean and all the fun she's been having. I used to be a neat-freak... and this is one organizational ordeal I can't seem to get jump-started on... maybe it's a bit too overwhelming being there's nearly five months of hospital discharge summaries, copies of Dr's visits, lab results, and my personal favorite, medicial statments that aren't really bills, but a big ol', "look at what we're charging your insurance for your last stay with us." Yikes-o-rama!!
The Bean has awoken and wants to be held. She's on the verge of falling back to sleep, reclining on Mom's arm, while I resort to one-handed typing! Ooh, big bright blue eyes gaze up at me, nap-time is apparently over! I sit her upright on my lap and she watches me type, her hiccups almost keeping beat with the Bing Crosby song playing on the computer. There are lil' reminders of what she's not yet ready for, but yet, so many other things we can do to get her there. It's just a matter of keeping focused, being creative, and working toward making our lil' Bean a big ol' butterball of health & happiness.