4th Birthday Photo Session

4th Birthday Photo Session

Friday, May 27, 2011

Strength -vs- Weakness

Today is Andi's unkie's birthday, "Unkie Christian poo-poo head." (My brother and I are perpetually 12 and 15.  ....He's older, btw!)  My brother is one amazing supporter of the Bean.  Although everyone supports the Bean, he's taken it a step further.  When Andi was hospitalized, and on oxygen, I made a statement on this blog how people can honor Andi, support Andi, by taking better care of themselves.  Holding their own health as sacred, and something to treasure. Unkie Christian took that to heart, and quite smoking last October. With Andi and her struggles on his mind, he tackled his addiction.  That takes strength, determination and love.  Strength.  We all have it inside of us.  Trust me.

On the other side of the spectrum, I was informed that a co-worker from several years ago, took her life.  While I haven't actually spoken with her in a ridiculous amount of years, and I didn't know her as well as I would if we worked in the same office, the news of her death threw me against a wall.  This is a woman who was almost always upbeat.  Good energy.  A sort of hippie vibe to her, she was just a wonderful presence to be around.  I can't imagine what she was going through that she must have felt death was the only option for relief.  I don't want to impose my own opinions on her decision, especially without knowing her reasoning, but I can't help think that's the most incredibly selfish act anyone could ever do.  Consider it from where I've been this past year... I've been surrounded by sick kids in a children's hospital, surrounded by the worst of the worst.  I've heard kids scream in pain and horror.  Heard them cry for twenty minute stretches.  Yet, I've also seen the biggest smiles, loving and appreciating life, family, love.  So to come from that reality, and then hear of someone who felt so strongly that their obstacles weren't something they could deal with, let alone overcome... I just don't understand that. Again, I don't know her reasons, but I feel the world has lost a ray of sunshine, despite whatever, and I'm saddened that she felt that she needed to do what she did... sickened really.  Health, physical or mental, is something to treasure.  If you're not feeling good... go see a Dr., get checked.  If you're not satisfied, go see another Dr.   Actualize. Verbalize.  Do what you have to do!  Ask for help. Talk to friends. Reach out to whomever.  Find a safe place, a person you feel comfortable confiding in... and unload your burdens.  What is it that Oprah said the other day, (sorry, I'm still enthralled with her finale!),

"you're worthy because you are born and because you are here. Your being here, your being alive makes worthiness your birthright. You alone are enough." (Oprah, the finale)

The best I can do is remember her, and hope that I share with everyone else that I'm here if you need me.  Slap me upside the head. Reach out.  Please, I'll always give you an ear, a shoulder, a voice of strength.  We all have it within - and I hope to help everyone else find it.

Barbara, you will NEVER be forgotten!  Thank you for making such a lasting impression on my life. I aspire to have such great, fun-loving energy making others feel special -- like you did to me!  I appreciated knowing you.

1 comment:

  1. BB was an amazing life force and she also had a very serious, in her case deadly, disease. She suffered deeply. I knew her well in "healthier" days and I cannot image how excruciating her life must have become in the last 3 years or so. I think she was incredibly brave of her to bring such unique good cheer, wit, and off beat fun to others while hurting so much herself.