You may not believe it, but I used to be incredibly shy. I mean, it wasn't even that long ago where I struggled to make eye contact, had trouble speaking up, and was ruled by fear. Fear of what, ... I have no idea. Somewhere in Andi's dark days, or the light shortly after, I found my voice. My voice has only increased as the year's have gone on. Sometimes it might be too loud, but it's usually in effort of making people laugh. But in those days when I was told that I had to be Andi's advocate and fight for her, her care, I signed on and assumed the role -- because I had to. I can't tell you how far up her pediatrician's ass I had to park myself about her leaky g-tube, but I feel I could almost touch his esophagus. (Sorry Dad, I think it's funny, and we both know it's true!) In any case, nothing makes me more vocal and tempt my lioness roar when I hear a little shit is picking on my girl. Oh yeah, today's after-school care report was that there was an incident where this little shit was making fun of Andi, and her lil' cohort joined in on the taunting. Apparently, they kept telling Andi she was annoying. I've asked Andi repeatedly if they said anything else - but she said no. I'm pleased to report that my kid did not Madea those lil' a-holes like I would have wanted her to - but told them to stop. When they continued, she told the teacher.
I applaud her and told her she did everything right. However, this is the age where kids start to notice differences, and I worry that any taunting will just get worse. Kids are mean, and unchecked, they can be downright nasty. I know because I was mean to one girl in grade-school, Shelley. A lot of us were. I still don't know why, but there's no excuse for it. I put my apologies out in the universe a few times now, but I can't give Shelley back her innocence. I can't undo any damage that caused her, if any. Perhaps this is the lesson coming full circle, karma slapping me upside the head. Even though times have changed, there's no undo button on mean words. No take-back's. Words hurt. And I worry what words will do to Andi -- how they will effect her. I know all I can do is continue to arm her with her personality, a quick wit, and like my Mom taught me -- how to say bullshit with a smile.
It's only the beginning. Actually, I think this is the 2nd time it has happened. I believe karate classes are forthcoming, because in addition to the wit and charm, she will learn to Madea those lil' f'er's.
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